Sometimes, when I’m alone, I find myself spinning my engagement ring around my finger.
No, it’s not out of excitement or admiration. Just… I’m thinking.
I stare at the stone, feel the weight of it, and what it’s supposed to mean.
And I wonder if the stillness I feel inside is normal. If every bride feels this.
He’s a good man, and he’s been good to me. We’ve been together since we were kids.
He knows me so well. Remembers what time I get off work, and makes sure the gas tank is never empty. People always say, “You’re so lucky. You found your person.” And maybe I did.
But when I hear friends talk about butterflies, or that magnetic pull, or feeling like they’re floating, I can’t relate. I’ve never felt that.
Not when we first started dating or when he proposed.
Not even now, as we pick out venues and talk about guest lists.
Some days, I tell myself that love doesn’t have to look one way.
That maybe I’m not wired for the fireworks and the fairytales.
Maybe love, for me, is quiet, familiar, and safe.
Other days, I wonder if I’m ignoring a truth that’s been whispering to me for years.
I spin the ring again. And I think, is this what forever is supposed to feel like?
Who else has been in this situation and felt this way? What do you do?
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