I thought I chose right.
She wore long skirts, clapped the loudest during praise, and said things like “God-fearing” and “Proverbs 31 woman” with her whole chest.
Sundays are untouchable. First pew, bible in hand, eyes closed in worship.
But Monday through Saturday is a whole different story.
She was in church on Sunday, on the streets every other day!
Club posts. Thirst traps. Petty arguments online.
In the streets more than traffic cones.
I was fooled.
Thought I found someone solid, someone who would raise our child with love and wisdom, who would pray over our baby the way she prayed in front of that congregation.
But it’s a performance. That’s what hurts.
The woman I see in church ain’t the woman I come home to.
And now…
I’m looking at this whole situation, wondering how I got here.
I wonder how someone could call herself a woman of God but be so vengeful, so spiteful, and bitter.
Not just to me, but to the same child she claims to love more than anything.
I see how she talks around our kid.
How she moves when no one’s watching.
And it eats at me, because I know I let her in.
I let her carry my child.
And now I’m watching this little person grow up under someone who doesn’t know how to lead with love, only ego.
I’ll never bash the mother of my child in front of them.
But in my heart, I struggle.
Because I don’t want my child growing up thinking this is what a good woman looks like.
That church is a mask, and love is a weapon.
I wanted a woman of faith.
But I got someone with a schedule. Sunday morning salvation, Saturday night spite.
And maybe that’s my biggest mistake…
Thinking a good girl was a godly one.
But now I wonder…
What does my child see?
And how do I protect him from this?